8 Tips for Fostering a Healthier Relationship with Eating

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or get in better shape. However, making these lifestyle changes should be a mindful, kind process rather than a negative one. Getting healthier isn’t about tearing yourself down and pointing out all your imperfections, but rather identifying areas of your life that you want to improve upon and taking small, realistic steps to achieve that change.

While it’s only human to have moments of negative thoughts towards food or your body, it’s important not to allow these thoughts to take over and turn a healthy relationship with eating and exercise into a disordered one. Here are eight tips from myself and other registered dietitians on how to help foster a positive relationship with eating while trying to lose weight or improve your health.

Tip 1: Acknowledge thoughts and then get real with yourself

It’s unrealistic to think that you’ll never think negatively about eating and exercising. Whether it’s feeling guilty about missing a workout or berating yourself for having an extra slice of cake at a party, it’s easy for these negative emotions to sneak in.

Taking a note from yoga, it’s okay, and often important, to acknowledge that those thoughts and feelings are coming up. But rather than letting them hijack your mood for the rest of the day (and eventually become your go-to reaction), take a moment to get real with yourself. Will skipping one workout actually cause you to gain weight? No. Will eating that extra slice of cake makes your pant size go up? No.

Just as no one food or workout can magically make all your health goals come true, one morning of not working out or one extra slice of cake won’t ruin your chances of achieving those goals either.

When negative thoughts or emotions come up, by taking time to check in and be realistic with yourself, I can almost guarantee that the stress will lessen, and it will actually make it easier to get back on track with your healthier goals.

Tip 2: Re-frame your thoughts and actions

In relation to getting real with yourself, another super helpful trick is to re-frame the conversation so that you imagine yourself talking to a friend or family member instead.

Jennifer Hunt, RDN, LD likes to frame these negative thoughts as a conversation between a mom and her kids, “When I think about what it means to have a healthy body and healthy relationship with food, I consider how I would talk to my daughters about this topic. Would I encourage them to follow a certain diet trend to lose weight or get healthy quickly? Would I encourage them to double up on workouts or forgo a birthday party?”

This idea of context also works by thinking about if a friend told you that they’re so tired because they’re only allowing themselves to eat 800 calories a day and workout for an hour every night; what would your advice be? Would you encourage them just to “power through” or would you be concerned and have a conversation about how they’d have more energy if they let themselves eat more and have a rest day (or two) during the week?

Oftentimes we’re more understanding and compassionate towards others, and then have no problem being mean and hard on ourselves. Next time you’re feeling like you don’t “deserve” a slice of cake at your birthday or that you “have” to go to that 5am spin class despite your body telling you that it needs rest, think about what you’d say to your daughter or best friend if they asked you for advice.

And if that still isn’t enough, remember that our thoughts and actions surrounding food affect others around us, especially kids. On her daughters, Hunt says, “I know that they pick up on my relationship with food and body image. While this is not an area that can be healed or restored overnight, I stay mindful of my language and how I set boundaries and enjoy treats. I want them to know how to say “no” sometimes. I want them to know how to be intentional and thoughtful. And I want them to know how to enjoy a treat without the guilt.”

Tip 3: Get rid of these 2 words in your vocabulary

If there’s one pet peeve I have as a dietitian, it’s labeling foods as either “good” or “bad.”

Putting actually toxic compounds aside (I’ll allow those to be labeled as “bad”), there are no safe-to-consume foods that are inherently good or bad for every person. While there are certainly some foods that are more nutritious than others, even then, depending on medications you may be taking, disease states you may have, or the type of workout you’re looking to fuel, different foods may be a better fit for one person than they will be for another.

That’s not to say that you have to eat anything either. It’s perfectly okay to choose not to eat a food because you have an allergy or intolerance to it, you dislike it, or you simply like another food better, but thinking about food as being “bad” is a slippery slope towards feelings of guilt, shame, and fear when presented with that food.

When we ban or restrict foods, we tend to crave them more and are more likely to binge. But when we give ourselves permission to have those foods every once in a while, we’re happier and less likely to crave them and overeat.

So remember, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting or not liking something, but those are entirely different mindsets than feeling like you can’t eat that food (for reasons other than allergies or religion).

Tip 4: Get to know your food better

Ever really thought about what calories are? In today’s diet culture, the word “calorie” has gotten a negative connotation as we now associate it with weight gain. When in reality, calories are what keep us running, breathing, growing, thinking, and healing. Calories are simply a measure of energy that’s required for our bodies to function.

Plus, food is so much more than calories. Ingredients are made up of so many different nutrients that all work together in synergy to keep us our healthiest, happiest selves. It also doesn’t hurt that food tastes pretty darn good and is enjoyable to eat.

Kellie Blake, RDN, IFNCP, LD, and owner of NutriSense explains how she helps her clients foster a healthier relationship with food, “I encourage cooking and creativity in the kitchen and challenge them to create healthy dishes to share with friends and family to help boost confidence in their ability to maintain an overall healthy lifestyle.”

Tip 5: Positive support network

Speaking of sharing food with friends, one of the most important tips is to surround yourself with positivity and understanding. Yes, misery loves company, but I’ve often seen how contagious negative self-talk can be. Instead, focus on people and groups in your life that support and encourage rather than tear down.

This is another one of RDN Kellie Blake’s top tips, “I speak to a lot of my clients about the importance of creating a network of healthy supporters. Being in a group of like-minded people seems to create an environment of success when it comes to transitioning to a healthy lifestyle”

So, finding a walking partner at lunch or joining a support group board on Lose It!, find the people who will help keep you accountable and motivated without feeling guilty and pressured.

Tip 6: Have a “why” that’s more than skin-deep

Something we talk a lot about when discussing weight loss is having an intention that’s driving these new healthy behaviors. Whether it’s so you’ll have more energy to go on hikes and be active with friends or to get off of certain medications, we all need a “why” to keep us motivated.

However, if that “why” is solely based on what we think other people want, then we can get stuck in this debilitating cycle where no weight loss or fitness level is enough. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose a few pounds to boost your self-confidence, if your only motivating factor is to please others, your relationship with yourself is likely to suffer.

Tip 7: Be inspired, but don’t compare

How often do you check Instagram? Or talk to a friend in person or over the phone? My guess is pretty regular. And even if you avoid social media, chances are you watch TV or read an online magazine from time to time. As humans, we love knowing what others are doing. And while drawing inspiration from others can be positive, trying to keep it at just being inspired and not comparing is important.

Whether it’s learning to cook, wanting to lose weight, or training for a race, it’s nice to feel like we aren’t alone. It can be motivating to know that someone else is going or has gone through the same things that we are, and they may even be able to provide tips and tricks for achieving our goals.

However, no one’s journey is exactly the same, so when we start comparing, we’re setting ourselves up to be frustrated and lacking in confidence. And this includes comparing ourselves to our previous selves.

Just because you looked a certain way ten years ago, doesn’t mean that it’s realistic or even a healthy goal for you now. Yes, you can be inspired by your past self, but then reflect on all the differences in your life now, and formulate your goals based on who you are now and the direction you’re going rather than trying to be someone you already were.

Tip 8: Celebrate yourself

Most importantly, remember to celebrate things that have nothing to do with health, eating, or physical appearance; you are so much more than what you eat, how much you exercise, or what pant size you wear. So while it is important to celebrate accomplishments having to do with your physical health, don’t forget about the other achievements in your life as well.

Anna Mason RDN and writer points out, “Every aspect of mental health and self-worth is such a journey. And that is so okay. There’s value in accepting who you are, just as you are right now — even if that’s not exactly where you want to be. Grace for our humanness is a much better starting point than self-disgust. And wherever you are right now you are not alone. No action, habit, or food determines your value. You are innately valuable. Now you’re free to eat like you believe that.”

Disclaimer: This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, website, or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your medical provider before changing your dietary approach and eating habits.

 

Last Reviewed 09/2022