How to Raise Mindful Eaters

As a nutrition therapist, a comment that I often hear from patients is some variation of “I wish I would have learned this as a kid.”

As we get older, our eating and nutrition habits, for better or for worse, become more ingrained. And it can take time to unlearn years of bad nutrition and diet advice.

In particular, those of us who learned dieting lessons as kids may have built complex rules around eating. And as a result, our adult selves can become rigid around our food and food rituals.

This is a concern as having these strict food rules can cause us to have an unhealthy relationship with food without getting any real health benefits out of it.

Luckily, there are ways to teach your kids healthy habits while still helping them have flexibility around food.

Parents are Essential for Modeling Food Flexibility

As a parent myself, I strive to teach my children to have healthy eating behaviors and flexibility around food.

And, as I’m also someone who is not very mentally flexible by nature, it takes work to model this behavior. Still, while it can be difficult, I know that it’s a worthwhile skill to teach my kids.

After all, if we as parents do not model healthy eating behaviors, kids will learn their eating habits from friends, social media, and tv.

Practice And Teach Non-judgment While Eating

Different people eat differently, and that is okay. After all, there’s no one “right” eating pattern. You need to eat in a way that makes sense for your body, food preferences, and lifestyle. That looks different for everyone.

When we practice non-judgment towards ourselves and others, our kids see that and model it.

It’s important that we’re teaching our kids that all foods can fit into a balanced diet. This helps our kids to not become restrictive eaters and start dieting at an early age, which can lead to life-threatening eating disorders. On the flip side, teaching kids that healthy foods fit also encouraged kids to not gravitate only to fun foods.

You should also aim to provide a variety of healthy foods and fun foods. Fun foods are enjoyable but shouldn’t be something that is so out of the ordinary that kids go wild when they have them. And fun foods shouldn’t be given as a reward. Teach them that fun foods are to be eaten and enjoyed in moderation.

An example that I use in my own life is that my kids and I get a treat every Wednesday night (usually a donut). This treat isn’t tied to any reward, it is only a treat that we enjoy together as a family. We look forward to this treat and include it with our dinner.

And in fact, my kids oftentimes eat their dinner and vegetables and only eat half of their treats. I believe that this is because the magic or off-limits nature of the donut isn’t there when all foods fit. Instead, fun foods become just that: fun foods.

Mindful Eating

One of the best ways to instill good eating habits in children is to teach and model mindful eating.

Mindful eating is the act of being fully aware of all of your senses while eating. And one of the best times to model and practice mindful eating is at family mealtimes. This requires that we facilitate family meals and are fully present.

This also requires slowing down meals, not having distractions, and actively teaching kids about mindful eating while modeling that behavior.

One study found that it isn’t what a child eats but how they eat that helps prevent obesity.

For example, teaching children to listen to their internal cues and self-regulate can be an essential part of helping them to maintain a healthy weight.

The study also looked at how caregiver’s feeding style makes an impact on the child’s ability to self-regulate around food. Kids who are able to self-regulate around food are more likely to maintain a healthy weight.

Here Are Some Tips For Teaching Mindful Eating

1. Eat Family Meals Together

There is a growing body of research that eating family meals helps protect against eating disorders and obesity.

It’s also been shown to promote healthy eating patterns, including eating more fruits and vegetables.

Additionally, mealtimes can be an excellent time to catch up, introduce new foods, teach table manners, and model the importance of eating a balanced meal.

Most research shows that even three family dinners a week are enough to enjoy these benefits.

It’s also worth noting that family meals don’t have to be just at dinner. Breakfast, brunch, or lunch can all be good opportunities to relax and enjoy time together! Just remember to allow for enough time to eat so that it isn’t rushed.

2. Practice A Moment Of Gratitude Before Beginning Your Meal

Taking a moment to reflect and visualize all of the people who grew, transported, and prepared your food to bring your meal together on your plate is a good way to practice mindfulness.

It can also increase appreciation for the flavors and textures of your meal. As well as help you feel more relaxed after eating, allowing your body to rest and digest.

This will help heighten the enjoyment of the meal and encourage better digestion.

3. Check In With Your Hunger Levels Before Eating

Before filling up your plate, take a deep breath and check in on how your body is feeling.

What is your hunger level like? Does your stomach feel empty? How do your energy levels feel? How is your mood?

Learning to practice introspective awareness is an essential tool for mindful eating and brings appreciation to our bodies. It can also help you take only as much food as your body is actually hungry for.

Asking your kids how they are feeling before, during, and after a meal can help them to build their own introspective awareness.

4. Discuss What You Are Eating, Where Your Food Came From, And How it Makes Your Body Feel While You’re Eating It

These discussions help our kids to check in with themselves. Discuss the ingredients of the meal, colors, textures, smells, temperatures, and flavors. This practice also can help kids to slow down and experience the full meal.

You may find that when kids appreciate where their food comes from that they buy into your food preparation and enjoy the meal. This may help to decrease family food struggles.

5. Put Down The Fork In Between Bites And Slow Down

Encourage kids to slow down when eating and set forks down in between bites so that they can fully chew their food.

Encouraging kids to wait 10-20 minutes before getting second helpings to allow their brains to register fullness and help with long-term weight control.

6. Allow Children To Serve Themselves

This is an important way to help your kids learn that they are in control of how much they get to eat.

Ellyn Satter, a feeding expert, uses a division of responsibility for feeding kids. Parents decide when and what the family is eating. Kids get to choose how much. This practice helps kids to learn what a proper serving size for themselves is.

In the long run, this helps kids to self-regulate their food intake on their own and turn into healthy feeders.

7. Let Kids Help With the Planning, Preparing, And Cleanup Of The Meal

Besides taking some of the burden off of you, these activities also help bring awareness and gratitude to everything that went into that meal.

Research suggests that kids who help to prepare meals are more likely to try new foods and eat healthier.

8. Avoid Eating In The Car

I know this is a tough one!

Adults and kids both benefit from not eating in the car and avoiding distracted eating.

If we use food to soothe boredom in the car, we are teaching our kids to ignore hunger and fullness cues and to soothe unpleasant emotions like boredom with food. Avoiding this can help to avoid boredom eating later in life.

9. Avoid Screens During Meal Times

Turn off screens and put away devices and phones during meal times.

By putting away distractions while eating, you can facilitate conversation and bring awareness to the meal. It can also help kids to listen to internal fullness cues and stop eating when they feel full.

10. Grow Your Own Food

When possible, grow your own food and let your kids experience where food comes from. If that isn’t an option, go to the farmers market and meet some of the people who work hard to grow the food for our tables.

When kids have awareness and appreciation for their food, they are more likely to eat it.

The Bottom Line

If we want our kids to have flexibility around food, we need to model this ourselves.

Learning and teaching mindful eating, as well as listening to our own hunger and fullness cues, is a great way to model food flexibility.

We can do this by eating family meals, practicing gratitude, listening to internal cues, slowing down, self-serving, involving kids in food growing and preparation, and avoiding mindless eating.